The world can make you feel insignificant, it can beat you to ground and keep you there for a long time. It makes you feel like life is unfair. Life is unfair though. Why do we have to experience pain and anger? Why do we suffer and why is there even such a thing as death? These are not questions that need not to be answered for I have no answers to them, these are questions that make you deem that there could be a reality without all these things, without all the pain and suffering and without fatality.
Unfortunately, that’s how strong a human’s imagination is, it has the capabilities to create a concept of a reality that we all wish for, a reality that knows no pain and anguish. However, that is not the reality we reside from, for it consists of every little possible thing that could rip you apart on the inside and belittle you as a human in every possible way. I struggle with my emotions, I always have and most probably always will. From the moment I drift into the dark part of my mind I start struggling with my typical life and everything does not seem to go well for me. I am unable to do a single thing and I feel useless, my monsters convince me that I have no worth and sooner or later I end up convincing myself as well. At times I do not even need a reason to feel this way for anxiety is probably one of my closest friends.
I seem like I am okay to be honest, and most of the time I am. Well, maybe I don’t know maybe I’m fooling myself because there’s the anxiety, not being confident enough, always worried about how I look in public, putting people’s emotions ahead of my own, worried about peoples opinions, the list is endless really and every single day there is something that makes me feel like I’m not enough, like I’m a nobody and I have all these dark thoughts taking over my mind, telling me that I am not valued, making me feel like no one notices me. but that's the problem i know that my value isn't dependent on someone's ability to notice and appreciate me, yet I still feel the same way at times. Do I even want to be noticed though? That is the question. All I know is that I am a nobody, at least I think so.
"A thing that has no value does not exist."
I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this, questioning my own existence once more. So I'll just end it here.
_rate yourself heavy because no one else is going to do it for you.
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