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Writer's picturenicholas bvuma

SHE DOESN'T KNOW THAT ALL HER DEMON'S LIVE IN ME.


Humans are built to handle the kind of power our species weild over the earth, yet we struggle to handle the power we find within ourselves, we watch each other decay on a daily, we put on fake smiles to hide it yet its not enough to run from her bloodthirst. She has been playing rough with me, she has been mocking me, I'm a puppet right beneath her fingers, yet she makes me believe that there are no strings in life. The reality is that those strings do exist, they're just so thin that by the time I managed to realise them it was too late. They were wrapped around me to the point where each thread was cutting into my skin, and the deeper they got, the more visible her strings were. It took the sight of my own blood to realise that, as it gently ran accross her threads and slowly dripped like a tap that wasn't shut tight enough.

But that is not my chat, the real problem I face is me being unable to free myself from those strings, as the more I struggle the deeper the cuts get, and the more I scream the more she shows me her demons. She slowly let's them dance on her thin threads with a wide grin on her face,  as they gently make their way towards me, entering my body through my wounds and finding nothing but emptiness inside. It's just perfect for them, as they are able to fill my soul with her rage, her pain, her flaws and her insecurities. At this point I'm more of a reflection of her than I am a reflection of myself. My voice is swallowed by her screams, my thoughts are led astray and my emotions are crushed by her insecurities. Am I still built to handle power if I can't handle her? My Angels are strong but her demons are stronger, infact are my angels even there? Am I really alone? Am I really a reflection of her insecurities or are my insecuties a reflection of hers? Either way, it all sounds the same to me, it all leads to pain and loneliness. I have been thrown out of the commanders seat and ordered to serve an entity that runs the very streets that I live in. She is not mine but she has made it clear that I am hers, and I have made peace with the idea that her demons have a hold of me.


I am non-existent, for her demons live inside me, and the universe is her name.


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